Pray to become a Proverbs 31 woman — A reflection on “Crush Management”

18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18, NIV)

9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? (Ecclesiastes 4: 9-11)

God never intends His children to be alone. God values relationships. God smiles when His boy meets His girl.

However, I really need to be aware the sin of calling on God from an impure heart. I’d better never use God’s holy words to excuse my thirst for attention and lust for affection. And this is why my heart trembled when I read Irene’s blog “Crush Management.” According to Irene,

“A crush is more about you, and less about the other person. This is why you can have a crush on a person you hardly know at all. Fantasies about crushes generally seek to fulfill our own desires, a self-centered attempt to satisfy our own longing or lack. Love is the complete opposite. Love is intensely and intentionally self-forgetting and self-sacrificing.”

I examined my heart and looked back to the moments I had crush on the guys I thought charming and “my type.” How self-centered I was! I always focused how I would be thought by the guy I was interested in or what response would my words or actions get. Even though I cared for the other one’s feelings and wanted to do everything I could to make him happy, I did that because I expected him to like me more, and if he didn’t, I was disappointed and had bitterness. That was not love.

Moreover, the post taught me it is “right and good for us to long for companionship,” but “eating garbage to satisfy the hunger” is bad. God has the best plan for me, why should I rush to step into a relationship that bears no fruit? Isn’t that painful to break up? Is it fair to the guy? Would it do any good to both of us?

Thank God for protecting me in the past 23 years. I hurt people and also got hurt. And now I’ve come to realize those “failures” were a result of my immature and self-centered mentality and crush, not love.

As God’s daughter, His princess, I should live in, with, and by grace. My life is not about me, but about Him. My purpose on this earth is to love. My relationship and marriage are designed to glorify Him and benefits His people.

And I know He is preparing the one who is waiting for me to help, support, and love him, building a family that God blesses and teaches each other the true meaning of love.

Before I meet him, I pray that God help me grow and build the characters of a Proverbs 31 woman, who is “a virtuous and capable wife,” whom “her husband can trust,” whose “words are wise,” and whom will be praised because she “fears the Lord.”

I also pray that God blesses me with the patience to wait for His answer, the wisdom of standing firm when temptations draw close, and the tenderness to protect the heart of the one He will send to me in the near future (or the one He’s already sent to me).

Thank you, Lord! Could you please also take care of him, comfort him, and protect him before the timing is right in Your plan? Could you please have mercy on him, let him know you, accept you as His Savior and Lord, and love you all his life if he hasn’t yet?

I love You, Lord. And I pray in Jesus’ name, Amen.

7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Nini Zhou
    Oct 31, 2012 @ 20:43:44

    Good job! U r so good at writing,.Have U read a book When Boy Meets Girl? Its Chinese format can be found in a website called 活水网站.

    Reply

  2. Irene Sun
    Nov 05, 2012 @ 22:15:09

    This post blesses me, Debra. Thank you for your reflection. =)

    Reply

    • Debra Zhang
      Nov 19, 2012 @ 22:11:32

      Thank you so much for the great original post, which has been my blessing all the time. It inspires me not only in terms of relationship, but in terms of every part of my life that I idolize, say study, appearance, career, etc. But your post reminded me only the Holy Spirit can satisfy my hole in soul. Praise God for blessing me with you, sister!

      Will you go to Urbana 12 in St. Louis? I know many from Grace will go there.🙂

      Reply

  3. Trackback: Alone vs. Lonely « Revolutionary Road
  4. Tola
    Nov 19, 2012 @ 22:05:27

    Wow… I needed to read this right now! Thank you😉

    Reply

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